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The NBA All Star weekend has come to a close, and I’ve decided to touch on a few of the events. If you ask me, the Saturday before the big game is the most attractive of the 3-day NBA promotional tour.  They can honestly skip the game and hold a 3 hour concert, and spectators would be equally entertained.  But of course, also allowing those players voted “All Stars” by the fans to somehow participate in the festivities.  But anyway, let’s take a look at some of what transpired since the NBA entered the mode of relaxation.

More appreciation for midget dunking

Saturday’s NBA All-Star Saturday night was highlighted by the 2009 version of the slam dunk contest. The final round gave us David versus Goliath, Superman facing kryptonite. In this, the actual exclamation point of the weekend (though the game is supposed to be), defending champion Dwight Howard converted the best jams, with the highest degree of difficulty, but his size presented a “style points” handicap.

No matter what the 6’11 Howard pulls from his bag of tricks, the 5’9 Nate Robinson will always give a greater impression of flight, regardless of the dunk provided. The Knicks guard isn’t technically a midget, but in comparison to players on NBA rosters, some NBA coaches and assistants, and Amazon women, he’s extremely undersized.

Robinson scaled the back of Howard for his final and most impressionable rim rattler. And though he used an arm to push off and launch above the waiting giant, the escalation and air between his soles and the hardwood floor were the keys to victory. Howard’s poor choice of a finale, a leap from the free throw line, wasn’t impressive. His launch point was clearly in the paint, and his physical length lessened the excitement. The most impressive dunk of the evening was Howard’s bank off the side of the backboard, with a catch and jam. If you don’t understand the difficulty of pulling off such a feat, I suggest you try it at home, and count the number of attempts before that mission is complete, if you can perform it at all.

The Bulls WIN!

Let’s erect a new statue in the entrance of the United Center. The bronzed beauty can bear the semblance of Derrick Rose dribbling around cones or maybe a reverse dunk with a clock showing his obstacle course winning time. For the first time since Michael Jordan retired from the Bulls, Chicago found itself hoisting a trophy.

Rookie Derrick Rose won the NBA “skills competition”. And in doing so, there is a startling revelation. The obvious key to Bulls victories is to have no defenders present on the court. If we can exchange opponents for orange cones, another NBA championship is on the horizon…maybe.

No more HORSING around

Oklahoma City’s Kevin Durant is the winner of the newly added H-O-R-S-E competition, though few saw the event. What was “new” should quickly become “old and gone”. Not only was the contest held outdoors, but it was also featured during the day. If I want to see a daytime game of H-O-R-S-E played on the blacktop during sunlit hours, I might as well visit my local playground and become a participant.

Gunned down at the OK Corral

Okay, it wasn’t technically held in Tombstone Arizona, but it was close enough in vicinity for me to use the hook. Raptors Jason Kapono was gunning for his 3rd consecutive 3-point shootout championship. And though he entered as the overwhelming favorite, it was Miami’s Daequan Cook emerging as the best long distance shooter of the day.

The competition takes me back to a conversation I had years ago with Kapono’s aunt. While Jason was still stroking for UCLA, she asked what his NBA future might be. In not so many words, I responded by telling her that her nephew was garbage and not likely NBA material. Eh, everyone is entitled to be wrong, every now and then. And besides, that’s why cell phone service providers allow you to change your number.

Hey, ROOKIE!

Before Kevin Durant was schooling in a game of H-O-R-S-E, he was making a group of NBA rookies look like A-S-S-E-S. The rooks put up a tough fight, but paced by Durant’s record high 46 points, the sophs made it 8 consecutive victories in this All Star weekend contest.

Best half-court shot goes to…

They call it the “shooting stars” competition, and it’s disguised as a team event that calls for competitors to sink shots from several stations on the floor. The reality is, it’s a contest to see which team (made up of current and former NBA players, plus a WNBA representative) can make a half-court shot in the least amount of time. Detroit won this competition, not because they made lay-ups, free throws, or 20-footers from the corner, but because Phoenix took longer to convert the shot from mid-court.

Little T learns to share

Unlike the ball hogging teammates (allegedly) Terrell Owens has in Dallas, he finally found a group willing to share and “put the ball in his hands if they want to win”. T.O. took home his second straight celebrity All Star game MVP, after scoring 17 points in the east victory. If Owens often aspires to win an MVP award, then Drew Rosenhaus has twiced booked him in the proper event, though the wrong league. Now if they can only conjure up a way to replace Jason Garrett with east “sharing” coach Julius Erving, the unappreciated pass catcher would be happy, and all would be well in Dallas.

Dancing with the stars

Oh, there was also a game not consisting of television celebrities, old timers or females, which allowed NBA juniors and older to play. The NBA All Star Game opened with a dance-off player intro, highlighted by the robotic Shaquille O’Neil flaunting his stuff. Digest that with your serving of Bruce Springstein, Roger Goodell.

As usual, from the first tip it’s an up and down “concession basket” affair. It’s then followed by an incredibly long half time show, before continuing the final 24 minutes of garbage time. In the end, the West eked out a 146-119 victory. Former Laker teammates (past subjects of the NBA’s most popular feud) Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neil were named Co-MVPs. I guess it’s difficult to see one performance standing out above the other, when Craig Sager’s attire leaves MVP voters with 3 quarters of spotted vision.

Until next time, that’s a wrap.