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Just before the playoffs, Shaquille O’Neal referred to Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy as “The Master of Panic”. Shaq went on to say that at some time during the playoffs, Panic-Man Stan would let the Magic down. During the Magic-Celtics series, I wrote an article in which I referred to the Magic as “the dumbest playoff team I’ve ever seen”.

Shaq, due to Van Gundy (accurately) accusing him of flopping in a game, was spewing venom. I, however, was simply making an objective statement of my several decades of watching NBA playoffs. Magic fans were pissed at both Shaq and me…well…at least the 3 Magic fans who read my article were pissed at me. However, the Magic have proved both Shaq and me to be deadly accurate.

“We kinda let the game slip-PED away because of our STUPIDNESS!” Shaq didn’t say that. I didn’t say that. Magic forward Hedo Turkoglu said that…albeit with not-so-proper English…last night after the Magic “STUPIDNESSED” their way to an overtime loss and a 3-1 series deficit to the Lakers in Game 4. Note: Hedo speaks English far better than I speak Turkish.

The Magic’s acts of “stupidness”: Too many to list them all here, but following are a handful, in no particular order, of the more significant ones…

-Van Gundy playing game-rusty, never-to-be confused-with-Einstein Jameer Nelson at point guard the entire 4th quarter while Rafer Alston, who’d “Skip to my Lou’d” all over the Lakers in Game 3, rode the pine.

-Late in the 4th quarter, on a Lakers’ possession with 2 seconds left on the shot clock, Kobe has the ball 21 feet from the basket. For some strange reason, Michael Pietrus puts his hands down to his sides and stands there “at attention” while Kobe nails a long, critical basket…that would have been a trey if Kobe’s toe hadn’t been on the line. Was Pietrus surprised that Kobe took the shot with the clock running out? What did Pietrus think Kobe would do?…pass it to Andrew Bynum for a trey attempt? Does Pietrus know who Kobe is?

-Random, non-communicated double teams. With 30 seconds left in the game, scored tied at 91, Nelson abruptly decides to double-team Kobe near the free throw line. Not a bad idea…except that the weak-side help defender, Rashard Lewis, was near the baseline and Derek Fisher was 2 feet beyond the center of the 3-point line….all by his lonesome. Kobe then (inadvertantly) “slobber-knocks” Nelson to the floor with an elbow while passing the ball to Fisher. Fisher nailed the trey while Lewis was running & waving at him…and Nelson was looking for his teeth.

-Double-teaming…and since Jameer Nelson was playing “zone center field” in No Man’s Land between Kobe and Ariza, in effect semi-triple-teaming…Kobe Bryant 85 feet from the basket with 11 seconds left in the game with the Magic up by 3 with a foul to give. This led to further “stupidness”…

-When Kobe (who is not infected with “stupidness”) noticed that NO ONE was guarding Ariza at half-court, he long-passed him the ball. Well…DUH! When Nelson then chased Ariza (who also is not infected with “stupidness”), Ariza passed the ball to a wide-open streaking Derek Fisher. Okay…so “Old-Slow-Ass Derek” can’t really streak, but you get my point. The “stupidness” of this sequence continued…

-Then with less than 6 seconds left on the clock, Nelson takes a path of interception of Fisher that places Nelson 4 feet away from Fisher, BELOW the 3-point line, ostensibly preventing Fisher from driving to the basket. I can only assume that Nelson was still out with his shoulder injury that day in practice when Van Gundy explained that it’s really not cool to not allow an opponent to waste the last seconds of game scoring a 2-point basket when you’re up by 3. Of course, Fisher (who also is not infected with “stupidness”) simply pulled up, launched, and swished the tying 3-point shot.

It’s never over until it’s over, but we all know these Finals are over. It won’t surprise me, however, if the Magic win Game 5, as they are a resilient bunch. While it’s possible for the Magic to win the last 3 games, the probability of such approaches the odds of my spending an unihibited, fun-filled night with the Amazon Nymphomaniac Gymnastics Team. The Lakers are the better team and the Magic are…well…the “STUPIDNESSED”!