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Michael Jackson died today.

If this had happened pre-1991, this would have been on the level of John Lennon’s or Princess Diana’s death. Hell, even Elvis. But instead of shocked and heartbroken, this feels like a different word: Surreal.

That describes the life of Michael Jackson, a kid who used to get beaten by his father at the age of five with a microphone if he screwed up. A kid who’s brothers asked him to pretend to be asleep while they brought teenage girls into their hotel room and had sex with them. He grew up deathly afraid of intimacy, obsessed with a childhood he never experienced. His whole life was a performance up to that point, and luckily he was pretty damn good at it.

I heard his potential mounting when I listened to some Jackson 5 CD’s when I was sixteen. Listen to these four songs: “Never Can Say Goodbye”, “Ben”, “Maybe Tomorrow”, and “I’ll Be There”. Pretty nice for a kid I’d say, nice enough to make his older brother Jermaine look like a sidekick. Mike got older, made Off the Wall, then he made Thriller. I don’t even have to bother writing about how big that album was. Then he did this thing called the Moonwalk to “Billie Jean” at the Motown Anniversary. How wild a biography would that be if it ended right there?

Well, things got strange.

And if you look back far enough, it was clear when he was still black. There’s footage of him inviting people dressed in Disney costumes coming to his place and dancing with him. Right then and there, in 1983, he looked like a six year old, and it’s quite creepy. At that point though, I’d dismiss it. It was his life and choice to re-live something he couldn’t have.

Then he became white.

I didn’t grow up then, so I don’t know how many years it took for people to really notice the change. All I know is he released “Bad” in 1987, and it was a big success despite his obvious transformation. That’s also when his surgeries started to become obvious. He may have denied having more than two, but most people don’t believe that for a second. At that point he was living at “Neverland Ranch” with a bunch of zoo animals, and started hanging out with Webster.

He wasn’t strange anymore, he was..Off.

1990, Dangerous comes out, and Mike’s stroking himself on MTV a little TOO much. And not long after that, the horrible scandal involving him and a young boy. He gets cleared, has a very strange relationship with Lisa Marie, then has a child named Blanket. Follow this up with many more nose surgeries, dangling a baby over a balcony, another accusation of child molestation, appearing in court in pajamas and finally Michael’s death today-June 25th, 2009 of cardiac arrest at the age of 50.

Sorry guys, but that was the short version, and it’s mind boggling to think how high and low this man rose and fell. He went from the biggest man in music to the biggest joke amongst our culture. What do I think of him? Probably what most people think: an icon, of the American Dream and of how people with money avoid long prison sentences. As a huge fan of his music, I find it hard to believe that I sympathize with his treatment by his father enough to avoid thinking of the shameful things he’s done. Whether or not he actually touched a child, he 100% without a doubt had them sleep in his room and gave them whine.

What person under such a huge microscope does something like that? That’s what eats at me, because when you consider all of his strange moments, you clearly see someone that should have been stopped and given help long ago. There’s no way in hell he should have been allowed to get himself in the same situation as serious as that a decade later. It’s sad to think of, but I think it’s fair to say that he dodged punishment because he made “Thriller”.

Despite everything he’s done, I still try to separate the man from the music, so as to not feel guilty listening to “Beat It” or “Smooth Criminal”. Then I think of the millions of fans who’ve separated those two persons so much that they scream for him more loyally than any fan I’ve ever heard. Think of how much power that is, it’s like the ultimate diplomatic immunity of the mind. It rivals in magnitude to Bill Clinton and his ability to make a woman famous because of her “services”.

My final thought on Michael Jackson is that he’s the strangest person I’ve ever known. He’s the creepy uncle I have to love unconditionally despite the fact that I wish his ass would have gone to prison or a clinic for a while. He isn’t Richtie Valens or Tupac Shakur, who gave us incredible music then died tragically. Michael Jackson gave us great music, then died slowly and painfully while we all shook our heads in disbelief or laughed depending on what he did. I think everyone wishes he had finished the second half of his life normally like Paul and Ringo are doing, like James Brown did. In the end though, His life was unlike any other man in the history of this earth, and his legacy will not be leaving our culture any time soon.

God Speed Michael Jackson.

From “Man in the Mirror”

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin’ My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer’s Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man’s Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya’ Know
‘Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That’s Why I Want You To Know

I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

Written by Ben English/Serrated Shadow