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Just some more shiny things for his trophy case would be great. If we could go ahead and embed some diamonds in there, too. Maybe some engraving would be nice, as well.

The New York Yankees shortstop, who is not even the best shortstop on his team, let alone the American League, received a Gold Glove for his position this season to go along with his 2009 Hank Aaron Award, handed out to the league’s top hitter… which sadly, was not him. This is not only my opinion, it’s totally a fact. The AL’s top five hitters sorted by average:

Joe Mauer .365 avg, 191 hits, 28 HR, 96 RBI
Ichiro Suzuki .352 avg, 225 hits, 11 HR, 46 RBI
Derek Jeter .334, 212 hits, 18 HR, 66 RBI
Miguel Cabrera .324, 198 hits, 34 HR, 103 RBI
Michael Young .322 avg, 174 hits, 22 HR, 68 RBI

Why didn’t Michael Young get the Hank Aaron award? He’s almost an identical hitter to Jeter. Are the Texas Rangers just not sexy enough?

Joe Mauer had a better average, more homers and RBIs than Jeter, and missed THE ENTIRE MONTH OF APRIL. Ichiro had more hits and a better average, while Miguel Cabrera had way more homers and RBIs. See my point? It’s okay if you don’t. Most of the country seems to be hypnotized by his boyish charm or whatever.

Guess what else? The Yankees dreamboat also received a silver slugger after being voted one of the top offensive players in the league by the managers and coaches. That, I suppose I can deal with.

What I can’t handle is the fact that he was given the highest honor in all of baseball: The Roberto Clemente Award. This award is granted to the one player who combines giving back to the community with outstanding on-field skills. Why? The fans got to vote this year along with a panel that included Vera Clemente and Bud Selig. At the award ceremony, Selig clamored,

“You’re a wonderful role model not only for the youth of America but also for our players. You have been the face of baseball for many years, and you’re truly deserving of this award. I don’t want to embarrass Derek, but a player like Derek Jeter, it makes me very proud to be the Commissioner of baseball.”

In Jeter’s defense, he is incredibly involved in the Turn 2 Foundation, which helps to promote healthy lifestyles among children.

Anyway, if this guy is awarded the MVP of the American League, you guys are going to see me flip the hell out.