Inside the Mind(s) of a Madman, Cowboystd

By Cowboystd • April 21, 2011

So, I’m feeling kinda bored right now and in need some attention LOL.
I created this thread to open up my mind and share all my thoughts with the SJ community. Something that has never been done before, I will promise to be completely honest (crosses fingers).

Sort of like Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour going around, I’m gonna speak to all of you within my mind, except I’m not a celebrity at all, hence why I’m here and not on tour DUH!

Unless ofcourse you count my “Legend” that was created back when i was in school. I was very much the “Marilyn Manson” of my school. I wore make-up, dresses, practiced “Voodoo” or atleast just to freak people out most of the time. And I accomplished just that haha.
I remember just walking down the halls and people would take pictures with their cameras and such and some would laugh and w/e. But the joke was always on them. You see I absolutely loved the attention and none of it ever bothered me. I had my friends and enemies and my girlfriend, all was good.

Every day I would just wake up in the morning and think about what to do next, and every day people would wait to see what I came up with next. It was pure awesomeness.

Anyways, some of you have me on Facebook. And as you can already tell, I have an odd list of status updates and sayings and no need to worry Deb, all is good lol. So this thread is basically going to be me doing just that. Updating you guys on what i’m thinking, when I’m thinking it and maybe even why (if I know?) Lol.

I’ll throw in some personal stories, answer any questions you guys may have, facts about me, and just stuff most of you if not all of you don’t know about me. I don’t mean to brag, but i’m a very special and unusaul specimen. I’m virtually irreplasable and my closest friends know it. Haha.

So where to start…..

Oh yes, I am feeling better as far as what happened to me a few weeks back. I won’t lie to you, i did get wasted last weekend despite doctors telling me to stop drinking, and felt like crap again the couple days after. This is going to be a tough road to overcome, i do want to stop drinking but it’s too tempting and i don’t really believe in AA or any type of treatement or psychology so i’ll just ride it out and see how things play out for now.

You know, i don’t expect any of you to believe me, some of you might even think i’m just a wannabe or playing the “Charlie Sheen” card. I’m not. To tell you the truth, the reason why i’m fascinated by that guy is the same reason I’ve always been fascinated by every outcast celebrity, band…ect. He’s different, speaks his mind, lives his life the way he wants and doesn’t care about what anyone else thinks. I don’t know wether his whole recent crazy antics were real or not, but i find it funny and similar to what i go through.

I’m not this big drug addict some of my friends and people seem to think i am, but i go along with it because it’s funny. Like I’ve said before, i don’t go farther than the ocassional Pot, though i have expreimented with cocaine. Now Drinking…. That’s a COMPLETELY different story…. LOL

I love to drink, i love to drink to get wasted and black out at times.I guess the good thing is I’m not a violent drunk. I’m a happy drunk. No matter how shitty and depressed i feel, as soon as i start drinkingIi feel all better and get happy. I guess thats why I stuck with drinking so much, it’s basically one of the only places I can find happiness besides football and coaching football.

And as far as “crazy” goes, I definitely have an interesting theory on that. I’ve been called Bi-Polar and don’t worry i’ll spare you guys with the “Bi-winning” bit, but yeah some people think I have it, personally iIdon’t. And i can care less about that label. To me Crazy is in everybody, wether you choose to expose it or not is up to you. I see the Human race as a unique race where everyone is so different that there can’t be just one specific way to live your life and say “that’s the right way”.

I think a lot of people, most people actually, just live their lives because that’s what they were born and raised to be. Your taught as a little kid right from wrong, the laws of your state and country, religion…ect. To Hell with everything in my opinion!
If more people would actually dig deep into their hearts and show some creativity and actually do things because that’s what they felt was right and not because it’s “the right thing to do”, the world would be a better place. Now obviously i’m not saying to go out on a killing and thefting spree lol, that’s just common sense.

Anyways, I’m going to end this long introduction post with a little line from a song….

“We’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy!” lol

That’s it for today, much more to come daily, weekly, or whenever something comes up. Hope you guys enjoy and feel free to give your thoughts and opinions, I welcome it. And I can assure you I’m not on anything at the moment.