Ageless Albert Pujols Commands Serious Dollar Signs to Leave St. Louis

Albert Pujols and his douchebag agent (we pretty much take everything bad we’ve ever said about Scott Boras back) have some mighty lucrative offers to consider this week… one of them being from the big-spending Miami Marlins, and the other meaning he won’t need to pack a thing.
The team reportedly met with the nine-time All-Star and agent Dan Lozano to offer a 10-year deal Monday night, upping their previous offer which was apparently less than the nine-year, $198 million the St. Louis Cardinals tossed up last spring. Considering no one really knows how old he is, this deal seems pretty fantastic. If he actually is 31, that would make him a little too old to play first base in the National League at the end of his contract. Unless he really is a robot.




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