Nov 29

Rumors & Rants: Ted Lilly retires, will baseball recover?


Major League turnstiles will surely take a hit next season as the game’s biggest drawing card, Theodore Roosevelt Lilly, announced his retirement on Wednesday.

Lilly was rehabbing in a Venezuelan winter league in hopes of getting back to the majors next spring after being released by the Dodgers this season, but decided to hang it up due to persistent neck and shoulder pain.

Lilly had the distinction of playing for both Canadian teams while they still existed, but his greatest feats came in a Chicago Cub uniform from 2007-10. Lilly endeared himself to Cub fans by being the team’s first left-handed starting pitcher worth a crap since Ken Holtzman, working through games quickly, and bamboozling batters with his sweet, sweet curve.